pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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