I can tuck mytits in my pants
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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