It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
