I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
