just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
