i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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