it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
