There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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