I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sober January is a disaster.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
