It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
