then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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