She is in my trunk
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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