I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
