he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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