I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
