It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
