do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
