so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
