I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
