I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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