were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
