im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
