don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
