You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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