have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
