No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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