We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
