All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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