I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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