Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
