At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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