She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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