Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
