PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
