All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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