Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
