Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
