Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
