so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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