the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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