I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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