so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
