Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
