who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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