Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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