You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
