not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, beer. Big fan.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
