Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
