who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize