sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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