Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
