I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
