we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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