I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk is not a location!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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