i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
