M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
