did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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