My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize