So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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